Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Random Ruminations of the Third Kind


Mathematics has always been considered the Queen of All Sciences. And one doesn't have to be a genius to figure out why..

And, it can be more fun, when you try to figure out its manifestations in things and situations around you, which are so beautifully camouflaged, that sometimes, even the most observant eye can miss them.
In fact, it took an exceptionally gifted rare gem(the phrase's enuf!) & me, to figure out one such natural embodiment of a theorem, called The Central Limit Theorem, that is very fundamental to the study of Random Distributions, the other day at jogging.

BITSian campus abounds in Pigeons. They are here, in every size and psyche imaginable. They adorn all structures here, which sometimes even includes our shoulders and what lies between them. But the most dangerous, and interestingly, the most mathematically significant place that they may ever perch on, is a tree.

To begin with, let us define an element x, where {x | x ϵ {BITSian}∪{BITSian}' }

Now, consider the following mutually exclusive and exhaustive events(in the probabilistic sense) :

Event A: A pigeon comes, perches on a tree, sits there for sometime waiting for x, an element x passes by, pigeon shits, manages a bulls-eye, shit lands on element x.

Event B: A pigeon comes, perches on a tree, sits there for sometime waiting for x, an element x passes by, pigeon shits, misses aim, shit lands on land under the tree.

Event C: A pigeon comes, perches on a tree, sits there for sometime waiting for x, no element x passes by, pigeon gets call of nature, pigeon shits, shit lands on land under the tree.

The following are presumed:

1. Whenever any one of the events B or C occurs, a shiny white-spot is created at a point on the ground under the tree.
2. The boundary of the area containing these points is limited by the absolute girth and peripheral expanse of the tree's branches.
3. All points inside and on the boundary are within convenient reach of pigeons.
4. Highly energetic and oblique squirtings do occur, but are so few in number that their contribution is negligible.
5. The tree can hold a considerably large number of pigeons at any given time.
6. Each pigeon perching on the tree can shit anytime, voluntarily.
7. A spot once created stays there for a considerably long period of time, so long, that the spot may be assumed to be permanent.The individual spots thus additively contribute to the total.
8. Two spots may, or mayn't overlap.

In the light of the above assumptions and subsequent observations, the following was proposed during our jogging:

Let n be the number of occurences of the event s, where {s | s = B or s = C}

"Over a long period of time, as n tends to infinity, the shape of the distribution of pigeon-shit spots under the tree tends to be approximately Gaussian or Normal."

At first, this 'remarkable result' may seem to be too trivial in its implications. But it can have far reaching consequences. Detailed studies can lead to development of methods to determine the optimum extent & frequency of trimming of trees, so as to reduce the number of spots on ground all over the campus, thus inturn reduce the frequency of occurence of event A.

Besides, it can give homo sapiens a deep insight into the dynamics of pigeon-droppings and behavioural characteristics of the members of the Class Aves of Animal Kingdom.

This discovery kept revisiting us all that day, and on subsequent jogs.
We are still to evolve a complete mathematical model based on the above theory, quantifying the mean and variance of the randomly distributed spots.

But as of now, the next time you go jogging, do wait to take a look at this marvel of nature!!
Meanwhile, the tree outside looks lonely(and safe!); i'll just go and give it a hug..

­

Yes, this piece of "typing" is Untitled.

But neither because it doesn't deserve a worthy title, nor because I couldn't think of an appropriate one to realate this to.

It is, because random thoughts and stray musings are best put down Untitled !
Intrinsically wayward thoughts, a couple of them, might as well be totally unconnected, and so much, so as to justify them not being put down under a common Title.

And, a title, to much extent, doctors your interpretation of the blog itself, redirecting all your thoughts, should they venture to sway at all, back again in the mentioned domain; in its own light.

It curbs your mind from wandering into unknown territories and delving into new depths.So let's put logic aside for sometime.
And anyways, what good purpose a title serves except gisting a potentially good read into 3-4 words which might even, sometimes, discourage one from giving the piece a read at all!

So, if I titled this piece as 'the lonely cow', or the 'black dog', you may hardly care to devote your precious time, in being company to the cow or pondering over the dog's color!
Instead it might even make you click the cross at the top-right corner of the screen.

Even if a title, eventually supplied, were a bit too elaborate, it would've itself evoked enough "related-thoughts" in your mind, even before you had started reading the piece following it, thus defeating its purpose of being a mere 'title' to the 'article', as the latter loses its predominance in the wake of the former..

So I decided to put this piece down, here, untitled, instead of sparing extra effort gisting this very essay and squeezing it into a caption for you..!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Papa's reflections on the Last post

Well,as if the last post wasn't sufficient to reveal the sparkling effects of Mohhabat on love birds,I am writing in to comment on a few technical intricacies of the matter.

Side-effects of mohabbat can at times be far more reaching than those of constipation,from which I am suffering today..Aaarrrgggggghhh :(

As I don't have any newly created theorems/laws to state,I'll be keeping this very simple,but mind you,simplicity at times can be as painful as a straight dog-tail up ur arse..And i use my buccal cavity to speak unlike others who use all other cavities to produce sounds(left to your interpretation..)!

A few glitches missed out in the last post are as:

1.Dates: These become your bread and butter for the rest of your stay on Earth;doesn't matter if you forget to wipe off your a**,but don't forget them,lest u run the risk of losing both ur kidneys in the aftermath..
Wud be apt to quote the nightingale Sunidhi Chauhan here at this point,"kar de mushkil jeena ishq kameena..!"
Dates,right frm the first hug to the first hagg..But for those who suffer from amnesia,Archies has those Belated Cards naah..!smtimes i wonder if Archies earns more than Arcelor..just minting out,courtesy these premi jodaas

2.Ek Dooje Ke Liye: Yeah,u got it right(if at all u did..!).Ever since the "Kabootar ja ja ja,sandesaa le ke jaa" communication technology gave way to more feasible mobile communications,these mobile operators,keep cming up with Ek-Dooje-ke-Liye-type schemes of late,to lure prem-pujaaris,with free calls aftr the sun has set!..to stay connected nd keep the netwrk jammed all night(BSNL toh waise bhi jaam rehta hai)..!Holy Owls..!For the more-techie-ones,Skype roxx!

3.The Apple-Theory Corollary: To all those who fall into the theory's domain,u can also try out joining Bajrang Dal n Shiv Sena..This will,neways,rev up your Resume..!
eternal bliss nahin,toh kam se kam naukri toh mil jaegi!..
Civil-Mech-Pharma guys,r u listening!? ;)

Much said,much more done,no amount of brouhaha can deter these birdies..So let's leave them to their-selves..
baaki sab mil ke bolo,Jai Bholenaath!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Coupling Effect

We don't need no education..
we don't need no thought control..
no dark sarcasm in the classroom..
teachers leave the kids alone..


Now,who'd have thought that decades later,these lines will infiltrate into the conscious of Homo Sapiens so much,so as to threaten their very being Homo..!
Yes,its the era of the Coupling Effect..Of muddle-headed,delusioned morons with nothing sensical,but stupidity n Cupid-ity,in half-kg lumps inside their messed up heads,at large!

Before we embark on the quest to investigate this Effect,beware Science students,who might again,try to reason out the text with the Title.You anyways,couldn't(esp. the BITSians in ES-II),reason out ur lessons on magnets n coupling at school;so don't take pains burling here..

Pronounced are the changes in homo sapiens,that come into effect,at the very onset of Coupling:the moment Cupid takes aim at their smelly asses and
shoots his arrow,thus infecting them with mohabbat..

Ye sab pyaar ke jhaaduu aur ishq ki chappal ka kamaal hai..

Symptoms:
1. Friends get virtually forgotten.
2. Phones recharged n discharged countless times on multiple nights.
3. Sleep-n-Shit cycle disrupted.
4. Appetite loss.
To cap it all,an illusion of bliss n being eternally blessed takes over..!

And u can easily spot whose ass was pierced,when:

you find even the 4-pointer spending hours in the Lib in a dark corner,cuddled up with an-other creature;
or,u find a sci-fi freak watching Love Actually;
or,u find the stinky-radioactive-a**hole-next-door grooming up every evening;
or, u find the brush-once-a-fortnight-ers brushing thrice daily;
or,u find the bucks previously spent on fags,being spent buying Greeting Cards..!

The sight of the love birds on BITSian campus,in their all-pervading nests is all the more amusing.
Oblivious to the world around them,to fragrant-cow-dung lumps on the streets,and Others snickering around;they stay lost in each other's aalingan,hanging around the canteen,C'not,ShivG,
Circles(mocking Gandhi n Patel),LTC(particularly!),IPC n ANC and DIGI-PRAC SESSIONS(Traumatizing Maratha)..involved in,or almost all set to play their role in Evolution..

But as I said,Murphy's laws shall hold good eternally,so,you'll hardly find any Couple,which doesn't have a disgusting Pig paired with a dumb Cuckoo..
Yes!most tagged-hot gals hook up with wanted-loathed-criminals-on-campus,or the destitutes n underdogs,invariably..And the contrast sometimes may seem so stark,to make u wonder if thrz actually some technical fault in yourself,that you are still unattended to..And thats's when u take recourse to using gels to mend ur broken heart
(they're already in the market)..

At the height and depth of the scenario,u might even spot multiple-drones-single-Queen pairs!

Lastly comes the Quantum of Solace:the Apple Theory which goes like,

"You are single coz you're too high an apple on the tree,to be accessible.
And some fateful day,winds of change shall knock you down to Earth,and thus,
bestowing the bliss onto you too.
But for the time being,though,try being 18 till you die!!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Evolution of Human Industry

"If all the world's a stage,and all of us play our roles,then who'z watching the show?Moreover,who is managing the ticket counter?"

Aarrggh..that's the problem with this:you gather all that's there in ur bowels,and Descend to the Earth to sit and write a blog,and then,the worst happens:you don't know how to start!!
And with so much hullabaloo around,of late,about blogging,with even your doodhwaala-rickshawaalah-n-dhobi blogging,you can't just sit and watch your toe-nails grow,either..
So lemme shoot it fellow sapiens:We are here,'coz we just simply can't,otherwise..!

And u might as well try hard to make sense of the "Title" to this Post in the light of the Post itself,but sadly,to no avail..

That's how,folks,this industry grows,and goes..the number of Sensible Mortals reading this Post would,invariably,be inversely proportional to the distance Hubble peeks into the Universe every passing day!

Lastly,Murphy's laws hold till date,and with a reasonably high probability,shall continue to do so,sempiternally..and thus:

One'll never have a slice of bread,
Particularly large and wide,
That would not fall upon the floor,
And always on the buttered side...!


So,stop oogling at the page now,and go and get ur bread and butter..
while I vent out mine..

Adios!